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February 11, 2007

"Presidential Vanity Fair"

We are still 20 months from the elections, and already all the melodrama playing out in Washington and in the media about the 2008 Presidential elections is worthy of being featured in such slapstick shows as "The Soup" (it wouldn't be featured on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Real Time with Bill Maher, or The Colbert Report, since those shows are presently dedicated almost exclusively to bashing Bush and the Iraq war as per Comedy Central's leftist political agenda).

The pageantry of absurdities is such that one does not know whether to crack up laughing at them, or cry in despondency and despair.

For one thing, it seems everyone and his sister are running for President, from welfare pimps like Al Sharpton to unknown inbred politicians from the backwaters of Arkansas like Governor "Huckleberry Hound" Huckabee, to paranoiacs like Dennis Kasinich. It seems that running for President has become somewhat of a cottage industry with which politicians line their coffers with cash even if not seriously expecting to be taken seriously at the Primaries. And then there is always Ralph Nader, who most likely will run just because diarrhea is "green" and runny, and has a knack of returning when least expected.

All in all the "Presidential Vanity Fair" we are witnessing would even humble the illustrious satiric pen of a Thackeray! Let us take a look at the frontrunners and the melodrama surrounding them:

In the last few days CNN and their liberal secularist cohorts have been avidly showing clips of America's Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, in drag, smooching Donald Trump, from a comedic spoof in which both appeared on Saturday Night Live years ago, no doubt trying to further alienate Giuliani from Evangelical conservatives already horrified with Giuliani's pro-choice position on abortion.

Then there is all the racial hooplah about Barack Obama...

When most of us were growing up to have been called a "clean-cut" young man and or "articulate" by our elders and peers would have been considered a great compliment that would have made us proud. Yet in today's twisted world of political correctness run amok, reverse racism, and racial ultra sensitivity paranoia, when Senator Biden and President Bush recently praised black Democratic rising star and Presidential hopeful Senator Barack Obama, and complimented him as being "clean-cut" by the one, and "articulate" by the other, the welfare pimps and the purveyors of eternal black victimization at the NAACP and the Congressional Black Caucus were outraged. It turns out that nowadays complimenting a black man as "clean-cut" and "articulate" is highly offensive to the Afro-American community purportedly as a sinister way of subliminally inferring that blacks are neither (well, at least Rev. Al Sharpton sure isn't). Now, is that a chip on the shoulder or what? How asinine is that? Have we gotten to the point of absurdity where we cannot even compliment a black person without inferring some racist remark by doing so? Apparently we have. I wonder if Senator Biden and President Bush will have to be rushed now to "rehab" alongside Michael Richards of Kramer fame (and by the way, shouldn't someone tell the NAACP that the word "colored" in their title is considered politically incorrect and offensive nowadays?).

And how can we forget "Ice cube" Hillary? Turns out that even though we all know who wears the pants in the Clinton household, non other than Italian designer and fashion "Guru" Donatella Versace offered Hillary some unsolicited advice, telling her to be more feminine, that she should tap into her femininity, and wear skirts and dresses instead of trousers and business suits. No wonder po' lil' ole' Billy goat chased after every skirt he came across! I wonder if Hillary gets elected who will be the one chasing after nubile female interns in the White House this time around?

And then there is always unhinged John McCain...

At one of the most critical times in our nation's history, the 2008 Presidential elections seem to be well on its way to becoming one of the greatest comedic farces of all time, and America faces the unnerving ambivalence of not knowing whether to laugh ourselves to tears, or cry ourselves to laughter about it; the results carrying in its wake the bleak consequences of our fatal choosing at the polls.

Taking the two Republican and the two Democrat frontrunners at this point as possible results, the prospects do seem bleak indeed!

What have you to choose from, America? Who will be our next President in these ominous times? Giuliani - a cross-dressing abortionist in drag? Obama - a black Junior Senator whose only Presidential qualifications are his swarthy good looks, his personal charm, and the fact that he doesn't use Ebonics? Hillary - a frigid and calculating woman lacking in femininity and burdened with her husband's dubious legacy? Or McCain - a maverick "RINO" (Republican in name only) who left behind some of his marbles at the "Hanoi Hilton"? And who can forget that Queen Nancy "Cleopatra" Pelosi awaits in her "flying palace," third in line to the Presidency, literally in the wings?

Whatever the choice America, it sure doesn't look promising! God have mercy on us all, and in the meantime let us all do like Caruso and sing "Pianga Pagliacci, Pianga" laughing while we cry!

Cross posted from Hyscience

Posted by Althor at February 11, 2007 8:48 PM

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